10-26-2016, 08:32 AM
Not wild about the simile of
"like the eyes of a stranger,"
I found it uninformative and disruptive to the reading. In other words how does
This "A tingle lingered in its vacuum" equate to this "like the eyes of a stranger"?
The way the sentence is structured the first is equated to the second, but I find little commonality.
Otherwise it seems a fresh take on the subject, neither self-pitying nor stoic. Good job.
Best,
dale
"like the eyes of a stranger,"
I found it uninformative and disruptive to the reading. In other words how does
This "A tingle lingered in its vacuum" equate to this "like the eyes of a stranger"?
The way the sentence is structured the first is equated to the second, but I find little commonality.
Otherwise it seems a fresh take on the subject, neither self-pitying nor stoic. Good job.
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.