Skeleton On The Sea Floor -- revision

[Achebe]

Her  bones appeared one day, fused to the seabed,
as one clinically depressed merges with their mattress
or decomposes into couch cushions, 
ribs reaching up in wonderment. The weight 
of the water fell over her face like a blanket as she slept, 
convincing her mind to keep dreaming 
and lungs to surrender.

She just appeared there one day,
a woman of thirty-five, feet strapped
into sensible heels, and settled
behind a desk with a picture of a husband and two kids,
unable to breathe.

Her skeleton just appeared there one day, fused to the seabed, as one clinically depressed merges with their mattress or decomposes into couch cushions. Half her bones already lay concealed in the silt, like puzzle pieces disappear down the sides of a chair or underneath a love seat. Her breastbone shattered from the ocean's pressure, leaving her ribs to reach up in wonderment at its absence. The weight of the water fell over her face like a thick blanket as she slept, convincing her mind to keep dreaming and her lungs to surrender. She just appeared there one day, a woman of thirty-five, feet strapped into sensible brown heels, and settled behind a desk with a picture of a husband and two kids, unable to breathe.

It just appeared there one day, fused to the seabed
as one clinically depressed merges with their mattress
or decomposes into couch cushions. Weight fell
like a thick blanket over their face as they slept,
convincing the mind to keep dreaming and the lungs to surrender.
It just appeared there one day, like a woman
of thirty-five suddenly seeing her feet wearing sensible heels,
sitting behind a desk with a picture of a husband and two kids,
unable to breathe.

?