NATURE PLUS

[zorcas]

in answer to your last post. old fashion doesn't have to be cliche. it's good to see anyone trying to write any kind of poetry, you more or less intimate rhyme isn't your thing. but isn't that the beauty of a workshop. you can improve on any kind of poetry that isn't strong in your quiver.
to the poem.

at present the poem is weakened by it's lack of imagery. the language feels too passive and slightly pleasant. it needs lifting in an original way. have a google of the lonely as a cloud poem. finally and i'm sure others will mention things i haven't. meter often goes well with rhyme as usual there are examples to the rule.

 
No matter how much nature thrills make the first couple of lines garb the reader,
with a host of golden daffodils, as far as daffodils go this is the greatest cliche of all, see w wordsworth's poem "lonely as a cloud.
or a poet’s being can subtly seize
the loveliness of stately trees,
or the scent of clematis, the smell of clover, a good technique often spoke of is "show don't tell"  describe the scent; how did the clover smell; like butter, spring birch? the reader will be more inclined to get into the poem if they're invited with imagery.
when at last our nature walk is over,
hearing the unseen bird’s last trill,
then hearing life’s far greater thrill thrill/thrills use it once unless it's a refrain or chorus or emphasis.
that, against nature’s best
is often our choice:
the friendly sound of a human voice.

Have managed to upgrade a classic poem, bringing it into the modern age:"I think that I shall never see
                                                                                                                   a poem as lovely as, Joyce, my tree."