message from roachland

[Todd]

Hi Kole, 

This is the first thing I've read in a while that I've enjoyed.  Thanks for that. A few comments below:

edit 1
you say I flatten 
myself but nothing is--great opening line love the break on is with line 2. I toyed with suggesting cutting myself but still like it enough to keep it.
two dimensional
you can’t see--Cosnider bringing the inside up to end this line. It would add a layer of meaning and work well.
the inside of your wall
you can’t see--if you bring up my scent to end this line it would be more interesting.
my scent trails like bread crumbs
you can’t--this line seems weak.
see my clan ahiss--I like ahiss. I also think if you make the scent change above this would provide parallel structure hearing/sight.
until the floor vibrations smooth
and you awake with midnight thirst--midnight thirst is lovely but your break should be on awake.
to raid the black safe zone of our day--nice
with electricity and newspaper swats--need more roach terms for elictricy and newspaper swats less human sounding more simple, more primal.
scattering us 
back into corridors of baseboards--don't like back
byways through space before and after
95% of species 
that 5% you’ll never squish
 

I hope some of that helped. 

Best,

Todd