Deliverance

[CRNDLSM]

I haven't felt gloom since becoming a groom,
but the impending doom developing in the womb
has made this waiting room resemble more of a tomb,
cause soon every step up will still be the bottom rung.
But, I love my baby,
I'm trying to watch my tongue...

The patient's passenger prepares to deploy.
The screaming squeak toy, whether girl or a boy,
is another bundle of joy sent to search and destroy,
and bring a new meaning to being high strung.
But, I love my baby,
I'm trying watch my tongue...

Starting with a stain, from a sticky condiment,
we went back home to change, where she quickly conned my wit.
You know, no one's to blame when the condoms split,
it's just a disadvantage to being well hung.
But, I love my baby,
I'm trying to watch my tongue...

I'm calling a truce! When you leave the caboose:
don't ever pull a light socket loose,
make the cord into a noose, or pretend that poison's juice,
and I won't call CPS for your child abuse,
and get someone else to clean up your dung.
I love you, baby.
I'm watching my tongue.

Because, as you get taller, each dollar gets smaller,
and there's no leash and collar when you're finally a crawler.
So please, come when I holler!
Or you'll be fending for yourself once I've collapsed a lung,
shouting!
I love you baby,
and watch your tongue!