10-10-2016, 06:00 AM
The imagery is there all through this, I like the lead into those imagery "The naked air ran off as the rain clouds drop their water gowns, overflow the river mouth" but i wonder about the use of the word "and" in this part
The nearby town carved into the land
slides off the bedrock and memory
Maybe "now" or "into" the reason i wonder is, was that your first choice and did it suit the flow on your final edit.
Lovely poem and really great use of words, sadly so true.
The nearby town carved into the land
slides off the bedrock and memory
Maybe "now" or "into" the reason i wonder is, was that your first choice and did it suit the flow on your final edit.
Lovely poem and really great use of words, sadly so true.