Sonnet I

[Donald Q.]

Sonnet I



“I”  “ebbing petal”  “folds half-open”  “against jet quiet”


“Am a body”  “of parts”  “amassed”  “in living distances”


“Rejecting”  “place, ceded”  “ within this computer”  “of stars”


“A face”  “of faces, it blinks”

Firstly the formatting; frankly I'm unsure about it. I think it is double odd because you have titled it as a sonnet, which it basically isn't. I can see how this presentation is linked into the poem's content with the 'body of parts amassed', and I guess you want to talk about the constructed, the synthetic. It's an interesting subject matter, but difficult, and I think you need to play around with both the content and presentation a bit more. 
Also I don't understand why there is only those two commas. 
Another perspective; your poem without its formatting and breaks, as almost a single sentence (Punctuation decided by me based on your intent)
I, ebbing petal, folds half-open against jet quiet, am a body of parts amassed in living distances, rejecting place, ceded within this computer of stars; a face of faces. It blinks.
I think it is useful to look at various permutations of what you have written, so you can be sure you are presenting it in the way that you want or need to. Interested to read it again, but I think you need to consider your options first.