Sonnet I

[RiverNotch]

Sonnet I



“I”  “ebbing petal”  “folds half-open”  “against jet quiet”


“Am a body”  “of parts”  “amassed”  “in living distances”


“Rejecting”  “place, ceded”  “ within this computer”  “of stars”


“A face”  “of faces, it blinks”

I kinda like this --- sorta refreshing. I can't give anymore, though, it's so bare --- my betters probably can, though never to the same level "serious" often entails. Considering said bareness, might I suggest moving this to the "short poetry" section?

I read two versions of this, by the way. The first is the first post, the second is CRNDLSM's recension. This version actually reads well, better breath and emphasis is developed, but I only fully understood it, both as a "sonnet" and as a sentence, reading the second. I do wish there was a way to combine the two. My interpretation, and probably due to lately obsessing over Plath, is that this is a suicide poem, same in arrangement of themes as her poem Ariel, but vastly differing in scope (this seems larger) and depth (that was definitely deeper, fuller -- but no problem).