10-06-2016, 08:34 AM
Good points which will be addressed, though you concentrate on poop, grossly neglecting pee which we used to aim into mortar round tubes. Have also considered introducing into the poem the truth that women, if they weren't so narrow minded and ignorant, could use urinals just the way men do.
Decided the thing isn't really worth repairing, especially since in today's poetic world with its endless gobs of personal stories and slices of life more of a pick-me-up poem is needed and herewith supplied.
Excretia Borgia
Long before Darwin wrote
Origin of the Species
humans had a thousand
names for almost any species’ feces,
from crap and scat
to the present tense of shat.
But excluding
blood, sweat and tears,
no one ever wrote
of that expelled by all,
from darling daughters
to drunks and druids,
meaning, of course,
body fluids.
Why, may one ask of thee,
have we only
that pair so lonely,
piss and pee?
Though tinkle adds a wrinkle,
being a girl verb not a noun,
it’s undoable in pants
but quite easy from a gown.
But perhaps we’ll outgrow
this linguistic paralysis
when a transsexualizing
surgeon
tells two happily rebuilt
patients,
“Those are urinalysis’
discarded phalluses.”
Decided the thing isn't really worth repairing, especially since in today's poetic world with its endless gobs of personal stories and slices of life more of a pick-me-up poem is needed and herewith supplied.
Excretia Borgia
Long before Darwin wrote
Origin of the Species
humans had a thousand
names for almost any species’ feces,
from crap and scat
to the present tense of shat.
But excluding
blood, sweat and tears,
no one ever wrote
of that expelled by all,
from darling daughters
to drunks and druids,
meaning, of course,
body fluids.
Why, may one ask of thee,
have we only
that pair so lonely,
piss and pee?
Though tinkle adds a wrinkle,
being a girl verb not a noun,
it’s undoable in pants
but quite easy from a gown.
But perhaps we’ll outgrow
this linguistic paralysis
when a transsexualizing
surgeon
tells two happily rebuilt
patients,
“Those are urinalysis’
discarded phalluses.”