Messenger of God

[Mark Cecil]

The feathered man and jagged knife,
a totem on the heaven's steps.

Sun's gaze bleeding through cotton clouds,
dripping red into velvet sky.

A body writhes against the ropes,
the cold slab pushing against him.

Below, the mass of people sway,
and they pray to the darkest gods

that swallow the stars and night sky.
But now they hunger for life's debt. 

Fear roots into the man's features.
The knife descending, it's sculpted. 


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A pretty simple poem trying to imagine the scene of Aztec human sacrifice. Not super deep, but just wanted to know if the imagery is good or not and if the rhythm is good. But yea any kind of critique is welcome.

I love the way you've stuck to an eight syllable structure throughout and you have some quite vivid imagery as well e.g. "the sun dripping red into velvet skies" I love how this is a clear reference to the sheer violent nature of human sacrifice.  Also the line "the cold slab pushing against him" personifies the stone slab the victim is lying on as pushing him up ready to be offered for sacrifice. 

Describing the people as swaying and praying to the darkest gods gives the image of them being in some kind of trance.  "Fear roots into the man's features" describes well how fear overcomes the whole person of the victim and the climax "The knife descending, its sculpted" is thought provoking with "sculpted" giving a dehumanising element to the victim.