On Criticism

[RiverNotch]

No censure or unneeded praise
comes from a master, only roads
gone upwards.  A true guide will raise
-- by coaxing or at times with goads --
the seeker to an equal plain,
if such exists.  To crush does naught
but shrink the pool; small fish may gain
and yet that kind is always caught.
A poem only ends when we
decide to close our eyes; no page
holds everything there ought to be
if closed off minds will not engage.

<3 Another new favorite, however old.

Maybe it is possible, but usually honesty and kindness are opposite alternatives.
Honesty can be brutal, while kindness is often a white lie reinforcing the recipient's delusions.

The classic example of the difference between the two is when a woman asks you: Does this dress make me look fat?
Will your answer be honest, or kind?

No and yes (a very early sonnet)  

Yes to Love’s Test


You ask, as not a few, time out of mind,
Of me, your hand-fast love, put to the test,
If this dress makes you look fat.  How can best
I answer the dilemma thus defined?

A “Yes” insults your style and, more unkind,
Concedes you could look ugly badly dressed.
But saying “No” admits I may have guessed
Your shame about your weight.  A hateful bind!

To slip this knot of woe, then, speak, my heart,
And say the gown you’re wearing does indeed
Make you look heavier.  In that I rejoice,
For lately, love, thin, stricken by the dart
Of care you’ve seemed.  I love to see you freed
From that, more shapely.  “Yes” must be my choice.

Does this dress make me look fat?

Not really -- you're quite thin, for a pig.


Does this dress make me look fat?

Does it matter? You look pretty either way.

Not to others I don't.

Those others don't love you.

It's not about love, it's about control.


Does this dress make me look fat?

Yes, yes it does.

Well....alright. I guess I'll change then.

Don't. I'll change instead -- where are those daisy dukes I cut?