09-29-2016, 04:39 AM
Jack, I'm having trouble subjecting this to serious critique for a couple of reasons. Although it's called "the god of dada", the end result feels almost modernist -- I think this is largely because it is made formulaic by the entirely predictable "randomness" of the poem generator with its stock of phrases and constructs. I feel that of the three elements, the second is the stronger but very much more surreal than dada.
The poem does have a progression through modes. The first chapter is quite neoclassical in feel, almost a Rimbaud. The shift in rhyme scheme is a bit off-putting, or rather, the initial use of couplets perhaps diminishes what follows. Alternating rhyme throughout might better serve your purpose, if that is to offer contrast to the next section(s).
As I said, the second chapter does have a surrealist edge to it (if such an edge is possible -- perhaps a surrealist fog at the margins). I feel it is a stand-alone poem, that is not much added to by the surrounding parts except in context. It inches toward absurdist, and I can almost imagine Spike Milligan delivering an umbrella to a young buck via the rectal passage. Curry emerges and hilarity ensues.
The third chapter -- well, I've already addressed that. It is an interesting experiment, but personally I don't feel it's a success.
Sorry I can't be more positive. It kept me coming back for a couple of days though
The poem does have a progression through modes. The first chapter is quite neoclassical in feel, almost a Rimbaud. The shift in rhyme scheme is a bit off-putting, or rather, the initial use of couplets perhaps diminishes what follows. Alternating rhyme throughout might better serve your purpose, if that is to offer contrast to the next section(s).
As I said, the second chapter does have a surrealist edge to it (if such an edge is possible -- perhaps a surrealist fog at the margins). I feel it is a stand-alone poem, that is not much added to by the surrounding parts except in context. It inches toward absurdist, and I can almost imagine Spike Milligan delivering an umbrella to a young buck via the rectal passage. Curry emerges and hilarity ensues.
The third chapter -- well, I've already addressed that. It is an interesting experiment, but personally I don't feel it's a success.
Sorry I can't be more positive. It kept me coming back for a couple of days though
It could be worse