Skeleton On The Sea Floor -- revision

[Lizzie]

I am being nitpicky with my crit because I think there's a lot to like in this poem, it grabbed me instantly and I love the title. I would say that the second half of the poem needs to be either more abstract or more descriptive, because at the moment the images of a mid life crisis are perhaps a little generic? I do like the contrast with the first half, but I feel like the flow and imagery need to be really tight so you can really capitalise on that feeling of constriction you are working at. 
I really look forward to seeing an edit here, I enjoyed reading this !

Hi Donald! Good to see you back on the site
When you say that the imagery needs to be tight, I'm thinking that it needs to be concrete. No? I'm getting confused because you're saying that it might need to be more abstract. Sorry, I just am so confused. I want to make sure I'm getting it.

But, thank you for all the suggestions, and it's not nitpicky.

Cheers, enjoying my visits here 
Sorry, I know 'tight' is a bit unclear, what I mean by it is that I think the second half needs to work harder; that perhaps the flow and imagery could be made to work more effectively. When it comes to concrete or abstract, I think it's a decision for you to make, but at the moment I feel the imagery of the shoes, desk and family doesn't give us enough in either content or delivery. It's an underwater poem, so of course I want you to go deeper!

Thanks for coming back to the question, DQ. Oh, wait. I guess I'll have to stop being lazy and say Donald. Ha!

I'll certainly give some thought to this. Thanks so much for taking the time.