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The Eternal Sunset
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09-26-2016, 11:55 AM
I get what you're trying to say and I think using the older sounding english phrasing is brave however the first 4 lines seem awkwardly worded and hard to get right when I read it aloud. I cant wait to see the second draft, how you decide to change this will be very helpful and educational for me too.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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The Eternal Sunset - by mv5543 - 02-09-2016, 10:49 AM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by porpoise - 02-09-2016, 11:07 AM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by RiverNotch - 02-09-2016, 02:35 PM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by Erthona - 02-12-2016, 01:01 PM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by EarthwareVessel - 09-25-2016, 01:58 PM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by FilthyDeluxe - 09-26-2016, 11:55 AM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by operadiva - 09-27-2016, 02:41 AM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by Khoa Nguyen[NightStalker] - 10-24-2016, 03:09 PM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by rowens - 10-25-2016, 10:02 PM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by HaleINthewind - 10-26-2016, 01:08 AM
RE: The Eternal Sunset - by Coquette16 - 11-14-2016, 03:30 AM
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