The New Paranoia

[Achebe]

I don't have anything worthwhile to suggest. I'll just tell you why I like it.
The pauses are wonderful

Original

The emails I’ve been receiving
lately are so disturbing to me: ...I love the pause on 'receiving', it creates a sense of incompleteness, irks the reader's curiosity, and leads on to the next line breathelessly.
strangers asking me ...what are they asking? what? what? 
about the size of my penis, ...friggin hell
my stamina, ...how do they know all this?..??

wondering ...yes, I would be...
about my lady, .. O fuck...you meant, the strangers are wondering about your lady? Dirty and unsafe, the internet
if she is satisfied. ...bastards

Who are these ...bastards?
people? ...Oh, I didn't expect to hear that

How are they ...how are they doing?
privy to these things? ...exactly what I asked

And where were they
that first time I was alone
with Sherri Longfellow
when I went home out of breath
and she was witness
to all those stains
of embarrassment? ...nice little vignette


Edit #1

Certain emails I’ve been receiving
lately disturb me.

Strangers ask about the size
of my penis, my stamina,
wondering about my lady,
if she is satisfied.

Who are these people
and how do they know
these things?

Where were they the first time
I was alone with Sherri Longfellow
when I went home breathless
and she was witness to all
those embarrassing stains?