09-21-2016, 11:44 AM
At the risk of sounding ignorant...
Yes, there a natural flow to the poem, yes the words you've chosen work well from an acoustic standpoint...
But When I think skeletons... I'm thinking skeletons in the closets, or something like that. The pictures you paint in the poem are of decay... but I don't think your poem makes the connection between the decay and the skeleton.... some have said (reading the crit) that the poem is about a woman realizing how far she has come but.... I don't get that... the poem is filled with negative connotation. This is, at best, the onset of a midlife crisis... I just can't quite make the significance of the skeleton....
the seabed works as in being underwater, unable to breath... ties in nicely... but..
Yes, there a natural flow to the poem, yes the words you've chosen work well from an acoustic standpoint...
But When I think skeletons... I'm thinking skeletons in the closets, or something like that. The pictures you paint in the poem are of decay... but I don't think your poem makes the connection between the decay and the skeleton.... some have said (reading the crit) that the poem is about a woman realizing how far she has come but.... I don't get that... the poem is filled with negative connotation. This is, at best, the onset of a midlife crisis... I just can't quite make the significance of the skeleton....
the seabed works as in being underwater, unable to breath... ties in nicely... but..