Skeleton On The Sea Floor -- revision

[Lizzie]

This poem flows absolutely perfectly and beautifully, using somewhat idiosyncratic grammar to tell a specific yet universal story of a woman realising how far she's come, and shocked by the life that is now hers. The narrative voice is sharp and solid; we can hear a real human being in it. At first the poem looks a bit squat and dense, with its long lines and lack of more than one verse, but I wouldn't for the world suggest any edits, because I'd be terrified that any tinkering would destroy or at least hinder that crystal flow. Thank you for the read. - Jack xxx

Hi Jack, nice to meet you ><

I understand what you're saying about the flow. I hesitate to go back in and revise for fear that the tone of the revisions won't be the same and they'll stick out. Sometimes I feel like I need to just get it right on the first go.

I will play around with the look of the poem and see if I can get it to look a little more "poem-y."

Thanks for the kind words.

lizziep