Cheaters

[Lizzie]

Holy crap this is awesome.  Thanks  Is it just for fun though?  Everyone makes up their own speech.  You're taking it to the max and thats what I like.  Its not lazy, it's challenging to do things improperly on purpose!  Well said

I'll tell you what I hate 'bout meter:
it seems like everyone's a cheater
with magic 'postrophies like 'ere
and ne'er and where-the-bleeping e'er
it makes the iambs work. Well, hell
then I'll just make up language too
with lazy arr'gance like you've never   ne'er -- yeah, that would be better.
dreamed! Like a banker far behind  does the exclamation split the meter?  or is it dream'ed -- I don't know if putting an exclamation mark there is a deal breaker or not. I'll probably change it though.
in Scrabble, I'll add th's like taxes.
It's effortless, 'cause poemeth after
poemeth just butchers nat'ral speech.   this lines tough , poemeth it just butchers? -- yeah, I wanted it to be irksome, but not quite to this extent, so I'll probably take those out (the poemeth's).
It's stucketh in my brain! Yes, I
can play that game.               i want to add to this line it seems to end abruptly. -- ok, I can fix that. 

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Hello all! Can I get some feedback on the meter? I'm trying to use trochaic and Pyrrhic substitutions as well as both masculine and feminine endings. Thank you ><

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I'll tell you what I hate 'bout meter:
it seems like everyone's a cheater
with magic 'postrophies like 'ere
and ne'er and where-the-bleeping e'er
it makes the iambs work. Well, hell
then I'll just make up language too
with lazy arr'gance like you've never
dreamed! Like a banker far behind meter seems to fall apart here. actually, it really falls apart in the next line, where the trochaic sub there's no trochaic sub in the next line is schmutzed midline (and i think that's the no no that kills prosody most of the time), but this verse is pretty funny, and usually funny verse demands a hypnotic devotion to meter (how ironic). I see what you're saying. Duke's saying it too. The whole world's saying it! Criminy people, I don't care about these stupid inversions, I just had to do them for class!
in Scrabble, I'll add th's like taxes. though unlike Lovely Rita, i'm no meter master, i think with the add after i'll the i'll becomes unstressed (add's too punchy in both sound and meaning to be unstressed, so that it becomes iamb pyrrhic trochee iamb, ie all over the place. I'll probably just do 'adding' instead of 'I'll add'
It's effortless, 'cause poemeth after that's a gross abuse of the enthing even the unwitting (but serial) archaist would decry -- everyone (but Steven Universe, it seems) knoweth ye enthing is for verbes! Oops also poem is tricky -- is it really monosyllabic? If I used it as such, then it is which i think would make it too close to the fruit type to be sweet. oh, and last, considering poem as monosyllabic: iamb pyrrhic iamb iamb halfstep -- which, yeah, could work, but i always think breaks like this kill the scansion, taking away that crucial marking stress. No idea what you just said.
poemeth just butchers nat'ral speech. and we're back, though again, with the double weirdness of that poemeth, patience is stretched. 
It's stucketh in my brain! Yes, I
can play that game. 
i dunno, the femme endings seem too lumped together to look, er, deliberate. the moments you diverge from them, it almost seems as if you made a mistake. otherwise, fair enough, although this whole thing feels like a prequel to a for fun post,

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Hello all! Can I get some feedback on the meter? I'm trying to use trochaic and Pyrrhic substitutions as well as both masculine and feminine endings. Thank you ><