Missing EDIT 2 technically

[Alic Elliot]

So Ive been writing poems for 10 years for a collection of 50.  I have a big fancy outline for it, theyre all for the most part written, but only just this month decided to seek professional help on some problem pieces.  This was the second poem written 10 years ago, edited last year to make it more personal, the original was about lovers separated by war.  
I appreciate all feedback, thanks for the help.


EDIT  just last year 
Missing

Maggie my dear
The tension is heavy
I sleep in my Chevy 
all the time

I'm going crazy
Your picture's the only thing
Keeping me company 
all the time

You gave your goodbye
Can't help wonder why
I wish I could fly 
all the time

I'm only Vincent
I've covered the cost much more than you're worth
I'm getting old, another rolling stone growing mold
If tears alone keep us warm, I'd rather be cold

I know you can't hear me
My words have grown weary
I miss you sincerely 
all the time



ORIGINAL 10 yrs ago

Maggie my dear
The tension is heavy
The pressure is draining all the time
Im going crazy
Your pictures the only thing
Keeping me company all the time
The cold desert sky
Alone in the night
I wait for a sign all the time

My only Vincent
Ive suffered and lost much more than its worth
my bed is cold I wanted to feel you grow old
My tears alone keep me warm 

Im not coming home dear
Its everything we feared
I feel death is nearer all the time

This edit seems, to me, more like a married couple growing apart than a couple seperated by war, with the wife not caring about her (ex?) husband anymore and the husband still caring deeply for his (ex?) wife. It's personal, but not quite the way you intended. Maybe reference the actual war going on? 

Good luck!

Best,
Alic.