Imagining Disaster, previously "Stuck," edit 1

[Lizzie]

I absolutely love the build up to the end of this poem. The way you built the idea of being a "...corroded tin man..." and then flipped the poem 180 degrees to turn it into something completely different made this poem one of the best reads I have ever read on this site.

In which case, I invite you to keep reading around the site.

But, thank you, though. I appreciate the time you took to read and comment ><

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Hi Liz,

Really cool read. I especially enjoyed your final stanza (of the edit). Way to go!

I wonder if you would perhaps improve the poem by cutting stanzas two and three?

Best,

e

Yes, those stanzas should be cut...

...along with all the other stanzas.

I'm no longer fond of this one.

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89Layers: I do agree that the lollipop bit is a little much and should probably be cut. I might try paring this one down to the bone to see if I can do a short poem out of it. Thanks for the input!