The New Paranoia

[71degrees]

Hi - I like the short lines, they add a sense of urgency to your poem. I really like where you went. I think you can trim it a bit more, by making active some of the passive i.e. she witnessed - active, she was witness to - passive

The emails I’ve been receiving
lately are so disturbing to me: or just 'disturb me'

strangers asking me
about the size of my penis,
my stamina,

wondering
about my lady,
if she is satisfied.

Who are these
people?

How are they
privy to these things?

And where were they
that first time I was alone
with Sherri Longfellow
when I went home out of breath (breathless?)
and she was witness (witnessed?)
to all those stains
of embarrassment? (those embarrassing stains?)

Yes. Thank you.