09-13-2016, 08:01 AM
Thanks DJ!
It is me talking to myself (I am the "You.") And I agree I had a hard time writing it to clearly identify the you. The poem is inspired by the dual personality experienced from depression. So I am talking to 2 of myself I guess (the depressed and non depressed.) Like I'm a trinity.
I don't mind if it sounds hopeful, but it was more about giving up due to exhaustion from and an inability to combat depression. The sinking (into depression/numbness) and breathing in (surrendering to the depression.)
The depths of my soul, hopefully a "happy" place!
Maybe the poem will be better if I remove the anonymity and own up to the feelings. I'll try it and see how it works out
Thank you for your feedback. I get scared to check because people here are brutally honest, but that's how we learn! I appreciate your feedback and look forward to reading your work in turn!
It is me talking to myself (I am the "You.") And I agree I had a hard time writing it to clearly identify the you. The poem is inspired by the dual personality experienced from depression. So I am talking to 2 of myself I guess (the depressed and non depressed.) Like I'm a trinity.
I don't mind if it sounds hopeful, but it was more about giving up due to exhaustion from and an inability to combat depression. The sinking (into depression/numbness) and breathing in (surrendering to the depression.)
The depths of my soul, hopefully a "happy" place!
Maybe the poem will be better if I remove the anonymity and own up to the feelings. I'll try it and see how it works out
Thank you for your feedback. I get scared to check because people here are brutally honest, but that's how we learn! I appreciate your feedback and look forward to reading your work in turn!
"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." - David Carradine