09-12-2016, 05:39 AM
You're being cautious with your edits, which is fine.
Without meaning to repeat previous advice, you seem to have some difficulty with last lines (second line of the couplet in each sonnet/stanza). In S3, it appears to be missing a foot, for example. Old programmer trick: the problem is often not in the line where it shows up. In other words, to add interest to the last line of S2 (for example), look at the line before it with an eye to moving some of the action/drama to the last line. Writing the second line first is not out of the question, or trying out a new end-rhyme.
To the mods: Wish there were some way to create a more general-purpose "hidden" button, i.e. one you could label "Click here for Previous Versions" instead of having it automatically titled "Spoiler." Hiding versions is terrific for relatively long poems, but having to re-purpose the "Spoiler" button in surrounding text every time is distracting. If there is already a way to do that, please consider this a request for enlightenment.
-- good suggestion, we'll look into this for you/ admin - thanks!/da
Without meaning to repeat previous advice, you seem to have some difficulty with last lines (second line of the couplet in each sonnet/stanza). In S3, it appears to be missing a foot, for example. Old programmer trick: the problem is often not in the line where it shows up. In other words, to add interest to the last line of S2 (for example), look at the line before it with an eye to moving some of the action/drama to the last line. Writing the second line first is not out of the question, or trying out a new end-rhyme.
To the mods: Wish there were some way to create a more general-purpose "hidden" button, i.e. one you could label "Click here for Previous Versions" instead of having it automatically titled "Spoiler." Hiding versions is terrific for relatively long poems, but having to re-purpose the "Spoiler" button in surrounding text every time is distracting. If there is already a way to do that, please consider this a request for enlightenment.
-- good suggestion, we'll look into this for you/ admin - thanks!/da
Non-practicing atheist