09-02-2016, 11:18 PM
(09-02-2016, 10:41 PM)dukealien Wrote: Unmetloved it
This morning, riding home, I met a man riding home in the morning? unexpected
or, rather, did not meet - the man was blind.
He crabbed along, each twisting step a find interesting word order from 'twisting' to 'find' --well done
of solid sidewalk if his faith outran
the sweep and scrape of slender, questing cane these lines confuse me; maybe it's in the conditional introduced by 'if.' maybe 'as if his faith outran?' if you use 'if' then I expect an 'then;' if you open a conditional statement, I expect the read the consequence of the condition; (take these lines as examples?); anyway, i love the idea of faith outrunning a cane: this captures blind movement brilliantly
striped white and red, antenna of an ant great image
his round, black glasses also served to slant maybe instead of 'glasses' something to keep the ant comparison going?
my thinking to; his face rejected pain. too? i'm not sure about 'thinking to' --interesting idea, being fed up with a disability in the facial description
I hopped the curb and rode past in the street: O.K., riding a bike; i didn't get that in the first line
did he hear clicking sprocket, whispered tires normally i would say keep the participles parallel, but i like the rhythm of combining the -ing and -ed here
and make of us a pair of witting liars good work admitting the speaker is a liar without saying so directly
who passed on by, pretending not to meet? i didn't like the L2 until i got here; now i get it
Thanks to this Forum
