Present

[nikkisto]

Leanne, as always with this one, I'm so grateful for such a great crit. I see the subtleties of the punctuation and see how it makes the words play off the lines. So much layering there, I will play more but feel you've hit the nail on the head with your suggestions. Thank you for the response!

It's really nice to become reacquainted with this poem.  It still feels lush and very connected to the land, but is stronger now.

Edit 1 (with revision)-

Valley of Fire, Red Rock, Seven Sisters.
Hallowed sites of this new home
lush with alliteration and untapped adventure,
but devoid of the emerald blanket of life
now only in the corners of my self.

Intangible in farness, -- I like "farness", it's very evocative, somewhat more childlike than distance and therefore more primal
ever present in ensuing doubt.
See what you have tossed aside. -- could you use a colon here instead of a full stop?
The origin site, rolling with the rushing water of life. -- and maybe a comma here
Veiled to you once more.

Time, space, promise, hope.
Ideas circling shadows of the new,
dropping seeds of antiquity into this cracked earth. -- these are gorgeous lines
Let the heat of this place embrace you. -- the full stop feels wrong here too
Feel it leverage its brazen promise against your gray regret. -- I'd take out "its"

Listen again in this rough breeze, -- the use of "in" instead of "to" brings a subtle, unexpected and quite lovely difference to this line
the vibrant hues live against the sky, -- live here and then life on the next line is a bit repetitive -- you can find a better word than live, I'd say
the life that pulses out of sight.
I am here, your Eden of reprieve,
I am here. We are here.

Still beautiful, and edging closer to pure excellence.