09-01-2016, 03:41 PM
So....makeshift....f-ing loved this one. I've read it several times now. I'm still trying to get it, feel it...it feels like dying a little. I'm going to have to look up 'glissando'....but I love finding new vocab...
I love the 'rise and the rise' repeated line
Goblin, mischief, moss....liked that....
You know, for me the weakest part are the two first lines Leviathan/ weight...for me they don't fit and could be dropped. I'd start with ' I sit in gray pixie dust...'
And the best part....the end...the carrot image is a total mic drop. Luv it.
I see the dark dirt, the bright orange dirty carrot, hands brushing off the dirt,,,and mostly I love the last lingering question
Thanks!
V
I love the 'rise and the rise' repeated line
Goblin, mischief, moss....liked that....
You know, for me the weakest part are the two first lines Leviathan/ weight...for me they don't fit and could be dropped. I'd start with ' I sit in gray pixie dust...'
And the best part....the end...the carrot image is a total mic drop. Luv it.
I see the dark dirt, the bright orange dirty carrot, hands brushing off the dirt,,,and mostly I love the last lingering question
Thanks!
V
"Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?" -Vicomte de Valmont, Dangerous Liasons