Eyes Swear (Edit 1)

[cvanshelton]

Your edits helped convey the meaning of your poem much better. Couple of notes below:

Edit 1: 

The face's dual spark
Keeps a swift lark. - could be just me, but I read "lark" as a "joke" first, then I caught on it was the bird.

That flits between us:
To scratch an itch, - got a little lost visualizing the lark scratching an itch - The lark metaphor is cool - and I like that you bookend it in the poem, but maybe think about using words that reflect its actions (the larks). Flits was nice. Also, it is strange to read a poem that starts with a rhyme and then abandons it.

To give feelings to affirm
 and break our prison walls. Is it that the affirmed feelings break prison walls, or is it that the lark gives affirmation and also breaks walls?

A pupil's dark middle, Here you leave your metaphor - it weakens your poem
Shines a light and a warmth,
                                      
And the invisible discourse - I like the way "invisible discourse" sounds
Promises a common source. - back to the rhyme, but I don't understand why.

If we stare into a stare
Or glare into it,
We'll all be laid bare
By the split-second intimate. It feels like this is its own standalone poem. Makes me think this is actually what you are trying to say. Do you need all the other words to make this point? I know it is hard sometimes to just cut stuff out, but that is what a good edit calls for sometimes.

Yes eyes swear.
I swear it.
When I look into your eyes
I feel the lark alight. This is kind of cute, and it bookends the lark at the beginning of the poem, The eyes swear bit is one of those little darlings we write sometimes and fall in love with, because we think they prop up the poem somehow. As a reader, I don't think it adds much. Another thought is to lake the last two lines of this poem, and make them the first two lines of your new poem. Just keep the metaphor - write about the lark. You can bring eyes back in at the end. Anyway, cool ideas if this poem - keep at it!