True
#15
(06-09-2016, 06:41 AM)mitsuch Wrote:  True

Edit 1:

We stand in this delectable land,
a casing, enveloping truth.

We live in a world sightless,
our faint ideas of the world. This doesn't make a lot of sense. The use of the word "world" so close together makes this line sound garbled. This line awkwardly comes of the tongue.

A false belief is delivered,
a love that leaves us bland 

a complex matrix of man,
a cloak over sincerity.

An embrace, that fixates,
an untrue fleeting grace.

We lie at the mercy of us,
As we let ourselves into the embrace. I think this word embrace is being used too close to each other. 
Reading this i often felt myself confused about what all the imagery was trying to convey. 
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Messages In This Thread
True - by mitsuch - 06-09-2016, 06:41 AM
RE: True - by dukealien - 06-09-2016, 12:42 PM
RE: True - by mitsuch - 06-09-2016, 04:11 PM
RE: True - by dukealien - 06-10-2016, 11:27 AM
RE: True - by Andrias - 06-11-2016, 01:49 AM
RE: True - by mitsuch - 06-11-2016, 02:07 AM
RE: True - by Todd - 06-11-2016, 04:45 AM
RE: True - by Slix343 - 06-12-2016, 04:25 AM
RE: True - by mitsuch - 06-12-2016, 05:42 PM
RE: True - by wipmp - 07-24-2016, 03:14 AM
RE: True - by Gabriel.k.Jones - 07-25-2016, 12:29 PM
RE: True - by oliviakristen - 07-28-2016, 11:42 PM
RE: True - by bluegypsea - 08-01-2016, 07:02 AM
RE: True - by QDeathstar - 08-02-2016, 09:08 AM
RE: True - by djNasty - 08-31-2016, 07:07 AM
RE: True - by CRNDLSM - 09-01-2016, 08:16 AM
RE: True - by D.MYST - 09-02-2016, 04:53 PM
RE: True - by operadiva - 09-11-2016, 03:58 AM
RE: True - by ForestWalker - 11-19-2016, 01:55 AM
RE: True - by Jo Frumple - 11-22-2016, 11:46 AM
RE: True - by Coquette16 - 11-24-2016, 10:24 AM



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