August (Haiku)

August (Haiku) - Edit2

cvanshelton Offline

member

Posts: 27
Threads: 5
Joined: Jun 2016

08-29-2016, 02:57 AM

Great imagery with the second line. And "stutters" is a perfect verb to describe how they fly and pause. I really liked that. The first line seemed disjointed and I couldn't get a solid image from it. But those last two lines...golden.

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Messages In This Thread

August (Haiku) - Edit2 - by dukealien - 08-28-2016, 10:14 PM

RE: August (Haiku) - by cvanshelton - 08-29-2016, 02:57 AM

RE: August (Haiku) - by dukealien - 08-29-2016, 04:54 AM

RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by dukealien - 08-30-2016, 08:07 AM

RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by Achebe - 08-30-2016, 08:43 AM

RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by RiverNotch - 08-30-2016, 08:59 PM

RE: August (Haiku) - Edit2 - by dukealien - 08-31-2016, 10:56 PM

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