August (Haiku) - Edit2
#2
Great imagery with the second line. And "stutters" is a perfect verb to describe how they fly and pause. I really liked that. The first line seemed disjointed and I couldn't get a solid image from it. But those last two lines...golden.
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Messages In This Thread
August (Haiku) - Edit2 - by dukealien - 08-28-2016, 10:14 PM
RE: August (Haiku) - by cvanshelton - 08-29-2016, 02:57 AM
RE: August (Haiku) - by dukealien - 08-29-2016, 04:54 AM
RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by dukealien - 08-30-2016, 08:07 AM
RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by Achebe - 08-30-2016, 08:43 AM
RE: August (Haiku) - Edit - by RiverNotch - 08-30-2016, 08:59 PM
RE: August (Haiku) - Edit2 - by dukealien - 08-31-2016, 10:56 PM



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