08-25-2016, 11:21 AM
(08-24-2016, 03:18 PM)lizziep Wrote: Makeshift: you're absolutely right about the first stanza introducing a feeling of envy from the narrator. And then this contrasts with the second stanza where the image of the perfect couple dissolves. Yuppers.I say what I did about your poem b/c I think it is the writer's responsibility to engage the reader and offer to them an avenue to experience whatever emotion that caused the writer to write about the situation in the first place. I'm not getting that in this poem. It's probably me, but I see no reason why I should care about any of the people you have introduced. They are faceless, nameless, and buried in a bunch of contradictory description. Personally, I think this same piece could be more effective as prose.
Also, you're right that the gender is not specified. I didn't think about that. Good catch.
(08-24-2016, 02:06 AM)71degrees Wrote: I understand the poem, but not sure why I should care.I don't know how I would accomplish this (compelling someone else to care).
