08-24-2016, 02:06 AM
couch, arms, blanket = too much for me. One cannot "recline" into a blanket.
If she is indeed "reclining" into him, why the "leaning" into him a couple of lines later? Again, too much description for me.
I find this whole event odd, sorry. Why are you so close to these folks who are almost on top of each other? The description of them is total stranger.
And then after "leaning" on him, the woman "leans" toward you?
All the description needs to be sorted out to be believable. I understand the poem, but not sure why I should care.
71degrees
If she is indeed "reclining" into him, why the "leaning" into him a couple of lines later? Again, too much description for me.
I find this whole event odd, sorry. Why are you so close to these folks who are almost on top of each other? The description of them is total stranger.
And then after "leaning" on him, the woman "leans" toward you?
All the description needs to be sorted out to be believable. I understand the poem, but not sure why I should care.
71degrees