EDIT Cleaning

[Achebe]

kole - great edit. Some nits below.

EDIT 1

Cleaning

In the attic
rat habitat ...a great two opening lines. I like the assonance (or is it alliteration?) of "attic" and "habitat" - it feels good to say it
leavings of paper nests and insulation
dust kaleidoscope glittering the one light bulb cloud of tingling nose feathers and sneezing  ....I didn't like 'dust kaleidoscope'  - it comes across as a jaded, unmusical metaphor, which is thereafter not consistent with the dust cloud metahor in the same line. I'd suggest using a simile in both places instead.
shifting boxes of holy clothes, mangled papers, forgotten toys ...forgettable adjectives
until I find the bottom, ...I like how the line stops suddenly, just like the the search stops suddenly
a faded flannel shirt that mommy wore
pregnant as the moon-shaped smell of sour milk in circles on the fabric. ...'moon shaped circles of sour milk' is a great sensory description, but it doesn't come across as credible, given that the attic is a rat habitat and it looks like the fabric has lain there for quite a while.

I fold the flannel neatly into her drawer. ....I thought it was at the bottom of a box?

When I'm nothing
more than dirt in the air
and you find this precious faded fabric
moth eaten, rat nested and rotten
you'll throw it out, disgusted someone could keep
that? .....this strophe is beautiful

But I'm still here reminding why,
whoever's there to bless your sneezing. ...I've read this poem several times, but can't understand the ending.




 FIRST DRAFT
Spring Cleaning
 
Springing into action
with the warming ground,
 
birds scouring the lawn for twigs,
bears at berry bushes,
 
I am in the closets and attic
throwing things out
the windows and doors.
 
Holy sweatshirts.  Mangled papers.  Neglected toys.
A cloud of dust and sneezing.
 
At the bottom of the piles,
a faded flannel shirt
my wife wore
pregnant as the moon
and breast feeding.
 
The smell of sour milk in the fabric.
 
I fold the shirt neatly into her drawer.
 
When I’m nothing more
than the dust you sneeze out
and you find this precious flannel fabric
moth eaten and rotten
 
you’ll throw it out, disgusted
someone could keep that?
 
But I’ll be there to remind you why,
whoever’s there to bless you.