08-16-2016, 09:06 PM
(08-16-2016, 08:16 PM)ellajam Wrote: Hi, Merc, yes to this scene. Cowers away is odd as for me cowers implies a cautious pulling away, possibly cowers under, reinforcing her shrinkage. Thanks for the read.
No, she cowered away from him. She didn't know him, didn't trust him, was scared of him and didn't want him anywhere near her. It was heart-breaking to see.
[quote='billy' pid='214939' dateline='1471346570']
i like that what you see is what you get. for me it's a given what the poem is about and i love it's plain language, that said [from the stranger ] feel too obvious and i wonder if it's needed? the line before intimates her disease as does the penultimate line. love the rose buds and how their used to mean something.
[quote='just mercedes' pid='214935' dateline='1471337571']
Thanks billy - I've just edited it - will come back and post a revision properly. You're right.