08-15-2016, 06:57 PM
The feathered man and jagged knife,
a totem on the heaven's steps.
Sun's gaze bleeding through cotton clouds,
dripping red into velvet sky.
A body writhes against the ropes,
the cold slab pushing against him.
Below, the mass of people sway,
and they pray to the darkest gods
that swallow the stars and night sky.
But now they hunger for life's debt.
Fear roots into the man's features.
The knife descending, it's sculpted.
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A pretty simple poem trying to imagine the scene of Aztec human sacrifice. Not super deep, but just wanted to know if the imagery is good or not and if the rhythm is good. But yea any kind of critique is welcome.
a totem on the heaven's steps.
Sun's gaze bleeding through cotton clouds,
dripping red into velvet sky.
A body writhes against the ropes,
the cold slab pushing against him.
Below, the mass of people sway,
and they pray to the darkest gods
that swallow the stars and night sky.
But now they hunger for life's debt.
Fear roots into the man's features.
The knife descending, it's sculpted.
-------------------------------------------------
A pretty simple poem trying to imagine the scene of Aztec human sacrifice. Not super deep, but just wanted to know if the imagery is good or not and if the rhythm is good. But yea any kind of critique is welcome.