Early bird feeds the worms.

[makeshift]

I put this light-hearted piece together after meeting my mother-in-law's new chicks. 
Let me know what you think :-)


Early bird feeds the worms. Subversive
 
The first chick to hatch
Was christened by the children
Lulu, first of her name. Idk about "first of her name" its funny because it feels too formal for a chicken, but maybe its out of place?
 
Though three promptly followed I could see this line functioning fine w/o "though"
No more names were issued
Until destiny swooped Swooped is a great adjective here, especially for destiny. Its unexpected, references the chickens movement, and somehow feels authentic. 
To earmark; coop or stove. I get the gist of what this stanza means I think, but this last line does feel confused. Hopefully i'm not being dim here.
 
Full plumage erupted
Necks stretched to wringing length
And resplendent crests showed
Us, the cocks from the hens.  This stanza has the most colorful language, its heated. Peasant to read.
 
So Lulu made the plate
His girls were sent to lay
The key to long and sheltered life?
Be a cockerel, nay. Its a tidy little poem with a tidy ending. There is a whimsy feel here for sure, I suspect due to the subject matter, and rhyming. Well slaughter isn't too whimsical I guess lol The syntax of this last line feels weird, to comic effect. I enjoyed taking our young cockerels journey, first is worst I guess.

Thnx for sharing your poem, I enjoyed reading it and hope you get something from my comments.