08-13-2016, 05:00 AM
I like the poem, but I don't understand why it's about a skeleton (reader wouldn't even know that without the title).
Further, what I like about this is that all of the examples of things "appearing" were really there all along, but went unnoticed. This poem seems to have a thread about depression or anxiety (maybe reading too much into it), which is cool. But again, I don't understand what a skeleton on the seabed has to do with that. Is it a metaphor? Is it literally a skeleton on the seabed? If the former, you need to be more direct with explaining it. If the latter, why is it interesting to me, or how does it connect to the other examples in the poem?
I'm also uncertain of the form/metre. It appeared that at times you were constricting it to 12 syllables, but that doesn't hold true for each line/stanza. Not that concerning, particularly in this thread though.
Overall, again, I enjoyed it, and am curious as to how the title relates to the content (if at all...?).
-BW
Further, what I like about this is that all of the examples of things "appearing" were really there all along, but went unnoticed. This poem seems to have a thread about depression or anxiety (maybe reading too much into it), which is cool. But again, I don't understand what a skeleton on the seabed has to do with that. Is it a metaphor? Is it literally a skeleton on the seabed? If the former, you need to be more direct with explaining it. If the latter, why is it interesting to me, or how does it connect to the other examples in the poem?
I'm also uncertain of the form/metre. It appeared that at times you were constricting it to 12 syllables, but that doesn't hold true for each line/stanza. Not that concerning, particularly in this thread though.
Overall, again, I enjoyed it, and am curious as to how the title relates to the content (if at all...?).
-BW