Hailstorm - edit3

Hailstorm - edit3

just mercedes
Unregistered

#14

08-12-2016, 06:13 AM

Hi! Good Italian sonnet. You've nailed the rhyme and meter - except for line 13 (wouldn't it be?)

which still feels a bit clunky to me. I can say the line all in iambs, but it reads differently somehow. I'm not getting the 'widow-trees'
allusion.

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Messages In This Thread

Hailstorm - edit3 - by dukealien - 07-14-2016, 10:10 PM

RE: Hailstorm - by ellajam - 07-14-2016, 10:25 PM

RE: Hailstorm - by Erthona - 07-14-2016, 11:05 PM

RE: Hailstorm - by dukealien - 07-15-2016, 10:25 PM

RE: Hailstorm - edit1 - by Achebe - 07-15-2016, 11:24 PM

RE: Hailstorm - edit1 - by dukealien - 07-17-2016, 01:24 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit2 (achebe) - by Lizzie - 07-18-2016, 01:20 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit2 (achebe) - by dukealien - 07-18-2016, 10:12 PM

RE: Hailstorm - edit2 (achebe) - by Achebe - 07-18-2016, 11:29 PM

RE: Hailstorm - edit2 (achebe) - by dukealien - 07-19-2016, 11:51 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit2 (achebe) - by Achebe - 07-20-2016, 07:50 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit3 - by dukealien - 07-21-2016, 05:37 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit3 - by kolemath - 08-12-2016, 03:15 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit3 - by just mercedes - 08-12-2016, 06:13 AM

RE: Hailstorm - edit3 - by dukealien - 08-13-2016, 11:01 PM

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