08-10-2016, 06:26 PM
i'm guessing sex poem but i can't be sure. it feels like it's trying to be clever but it doesn't work for me. i have no idea what an unbudgeable ball is. most of the poem eludes me. a suggestion would be to make it more accessible to the reader, at present it's a struggle.
(08-10-2016, 04:01 PM)gmc Wrote: The dual spark
A swift lark
Promises the bridge
To itch the itch
Feeling to affirm
Not soft but firm
Crash through the wall
Budge unbudgeable ball
Light so bright
In eye's middle night
Breathes warmth
As home's hot hearth
Uncountable lanterns
Speak loss and returns
Scream envy and yearn
Wink long and take turns. it may just be me but this doesn't make a lot of sense.
Glare into the stare
Or stare into it.
You'll all be laid bare,
split-second intimate
Invisible discourse
does promise a source. [promises]
Yes, eyes swear until hoarse:
Of course there's a source!