Lightning Truth

[QDeathstar]

I

My self-contained destiny is expressed in every moment eternally The opening line is a real turn off. It also makes no sense. Self contained destiny is expressed is an oxymoron and every moment eternally is redundant
I bask in all pervading, pre-conceptual valley of truth

My days never end 
Seldom do I ever see the night
Except when I let the darkness of my own soul  
consume my thoughts on the walk through the    
treacherous doubt of uncertainty

My will is my own 

Power is hoarded
 Waiting to be expressed and impressed into the  
Atomic structure of a construct that must of          come on.... did you write this on acid? You are making symbols out of nothing and none of them tie together in any meaningful way. Your thought process is on a bobble head
Been so elusive to deny me even a momentary    
Pleasure [b]horrid line break. Pleasure doesn't stand on its own and you gain nothing by stopping on "momentary"

I aim to capture all positivity 
 Into the scope of intent
  Purified by the passion
   That fuels my direction 
    To seek out experiences that are meaningful        
To me

Any critique is appreciated. Thanks.

Hi. Thanks for writing, that is the hardest part. Starting. However, i feel like this peice has an overly romanticized idea of what poetry is. You've attempted to prettify this poem to the point where it is just a bunch of lace stored in plastic bag. Lace is only useful when it's used as trim. You gotta have something real to hold on too..

the poem kinda reminded me of this song (the lines about not being able to see the night)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X5opdZigck