Melancholia

[just mercedes]

Hi - I would like to see this poem minus all the '-ing' words, adjectives, repeated words, and abstract nouns. Take another look at the skeleton and see if it says what you wanted to say. Your poem starts with a good concrete image, of storm and rain. You could try extending that metaphor with more images, rather than abstractions such as 'a shining admission of anguish / an ostracized shame'