08-02-2016, 02:08 PM
Ends line with "shame" five times
Ends line with "guilt" four times
Ends line with "fear" four times
Ends line with "pain" three times ("pain" used six times altogether)
Ends line with "gloom" three times
Aside from the repetition this is one dependent clause stacked upon another and another and another...
Dependent clauses do not generally convey much meaning when isolated from a sentence and that is the case here.
This is an interesting statement "fabricating the peacefulness of rain so slow".
I was unaware peacefulness could be fabricated from rain, even metaphorically.
To fabricate: in general terms, to construct from.
Still, one of the better lines.
The plethora of dependent clauses makes for general meaninglessness, which is only increased in it's noisiness by the over repetition of words and phrases, not to mention the abundance of cliches. I have no idea what the writer is attempting, but the actual meaning present could probably be encapsulated into four to six lines.
That there is no set, setting or character to which to apply this, not to mention the writing being a total abstraction, makes it even more stupefyingly.
Best,
dale
Ends line with "guilt" four times
Ends line with "fear" four times
Ends line with "pain" three times ("pain" used six times altogether)
Ends line with "gloom" three times
Aside from the repetition this is one dependent clause stacked upon another and another and another...
Dependent clauses do not generally convey much meaning when isolated from a sentence and that is the case here.
This is an interesting statement "fabricating the peacefulness of rain so slow".
I was unaware peacefulness could be fabricated from rain, even metaphorically.
To fabricate: in general terms, to construct from.
Still, one of the better lines.
The plethora of dependent clauses makes for general meaninglessness, which is only increased in it's noisiness by the over repetition of words and phrases, not to mention the abundance of cliches. I have no idea what the writer is attempting, but the actual meaning present could probably be encapsulated into four to six lines.
That there is no set, setting or character to which to apply this, not to mention the writing being a total abstraction, makes it even more stupefyingly.
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.