07-31-2016, 11:07 AM
(07-31-2016, 06:49 AM)shemthepenman Wrote: then the 5th line is a little more tricky. you could personalise it by "my life values nothing but. . ." yet the word 'life' here still seems a bit meaningless. are you your life or is life somehow magically and incomprehensibly attached to you? a philosophical nit pick i suppose.It's not a nit pick, and this is why I have to think some more. I'm not sure that I really know what I'm trying to say in the end. I know how I FEEL.
I had a big poem brainstormed that fell through because it was incomprehensible, laughable, cliche, and boring -- not to mention, ridiculous -- and this bit is all that's left. But, without the surrounding context, I'm not sure that it's cohesive.
It's really meant to be both a defense and an indictment of my own self-concern in terms of how I move through my life. If someone's broken down on the side of the road, I'm not going to pull over and help them because I have my kids with me in the car. You know? And, just all the dead shark babies. All the dead babies, or ones that never existed!
I have existence guilt.
I don't think I can use your signature font, though. Maybe something a little punk-rock instead, but still feminine? Whatever that font is....