Cold Feet

[Achebe]

Nearly there, not the place to stop
and watch, like deer.
Uncertainty, arrived behind tiptoe,
whistled like a rifle shot,
knocked the canteen clean with clumsy hands.
The water seeped and found my feet
standing in a patch of dismay
as she vanished with a white tail flag.

My suggestion would be to drop the metaphor, which is boring and takes away from the poem. Make it just a record of the moment. The above is one of the ways - just to give you some ideas.

Some points that I tried to address in the edit:
1)uncertainty can't be a taste and a whistler. 
2) why did the water seep? Where's the water coming from?
3) what did your ears hear when only your eyes saw?