The Birth of a Straight Man, v 2.1.1: kolemath, lizziep, Wjames, Achebe, D.MYST

[kolemath]

I like how the poem captures the ignorance (and innocence) of sexual preference as a child to experimentation and maturing sexuality. you're right to point out the title and ending as they don't work to my reading as well as the beginning and middle. the straight man never was created, in the literal sense. maybe 'straighten a man' would work? something that preserves the hidden sexuality.

(A very rough draft that might have a change in title and ending.)

THE CREATION OF A STRAIGHT MAN

1
When I was younger, maybe five or six, i like the repetition and layering of this lane in later stanzas
everyone teased me, called me gay. stronger images than tease and call?
I didn't even understand
what sex meant, playing with my penis good lines
as if it were just another finger. how can you connect the imagery of finger the 'playing' of the above line? fiddling? how do you play with fingers and how can this connect to the penis?
I knew only that I
was insulted, that I 
had to get mad. again, good capturing the reactive ignorance of a child

2
When I was younger, maybe seven or eight,
my favorite past time was kissing boys,
girls, anyone I could get my hands on,
even the dirty unknown that lied motionless *lay   is this a homeless person? i'm a bit confused here a pedophile? a passed out drunk?
outside our school. My second favorite
was biting the arms of all the boys that mocked,
pulling the hair of all the girls that laughed. feisty little fellow

3
When I was younger, maybe nine or ten,
my peers stopped with the teasing.
They almost became my friends,
although I could never forget
the hell they made for me i'm not sure you've establish a clear hell above. just teasing
and the scars I left them.
Every night, to both celebrate my victory what victory? 
and atone,
I would give myself a wedgie
with the cord that closed and opened
my room's Venetian blinds,
would rub my thirteenth digit to and fro wouldn't it be the 21st?
on the tearing cloth
while staring straight in the eye my reflection
on the window. reminds me short ginsberg poem where he masterbates in the mirror, kissing himself
jarring image. it's hilarious too
4
When I was younger, maybe eleven or twelve,
I found God in his most popular form,
Love. The Sallman Head, the Image of Edessa: maybe i'm missing some allusions but god is love comes late in the old testament, then 20th century jesus, than a greek reference, than a roman girl. what am i missing here? 
nothing compares to the little red-haired girl
I saw lying all Roman on the wooden seat
by the fireplace. The dream the narrative of suppressed homosexuality is lost to me here; now it's a dream?
ended like this: as the rising sun
cast its burning rays
on my shut eyes and smiling face,
she roasted like a suckling pig. do suckling pigs roast?
And from then on, I'd be obsessed. with what?

5
When I was younger, maybe thirteen or fourteen,
my grandmother died. Her last words:
"I smell bacon". And from then on,
I'd be obsessed. repeating these lines but i'm still not sure what you mean; i see a connection to pigs which is interesting, but to being gay?

6
When I was younger, maybe fifteen or sixteen,
I figured it was time to come
out of the closet
and into the evening room. I like the metaphor but 'evening' is throwing me off
"What am I afraid of?" I thought. "Have I not
already stared death straight in the eye?"
But then I found God's true image, image or covenant? 
Justice, carved into the ridges and furrows
of my prepuce, and I knew
that to lie to myself was to admit defeat. the last line is weak to my reading. how does examining what i infer to be a circumcised penis discourage you from coming out? is it an allusion to the sexual control god exerts over jew males by demanding the foreskin? is it that society does a kind of double circumcision of homosexuals? if so, bring this out more. 

again, i like what the poems after overall. just make sure every line and section is playing with the theme of the coming out dilemma as a start for revising.

thanks for sharing