07-17-2016, 05:18 PM
I think Shay and Erthona have pretty much covered any specifics I was going to bring up.
In general I'd like to say that, unlike Erthona, I'm not adverse to cryptic poems, providing
there's an underlying logic to them. For readers that are interested enough to take the time,
it's fun, even rewarding, to interpret them.
This definitely limits the number of readers, as many aren't interested in that type of poem.
But which audience and how large an audience to appeal to is a decision that's up to the writer.
If she/he wants to write poems about quantum mechanics or ones that mention obscure
Norse gods, I'm prepared to honour that decision. Of course, it's always my decision whether
or not to be interested in the poem.
That said, the underlying logic in this poem is a bit strained (see Erthona's specific remarks).
And change the title to "cicada" (or hell, why not "think love and it's over"?)
Even though you have an internal meaning for "cicade", everyone that reads it will just think you
misspelled "cicada".
A cryptic poem places a certain onus on the writer if he/she wants to be taken seriously,
the writer needs to assure the reader in some way that there IS a logic to the poem,
that it isn't just a random construct.
Two wonderful lines of yours:
"think love and it's over" (yes, you should omit "even")
"think wet and you'll drown me"
In general I'd like to say that, unlike Erthona, I'm not adverse to cryptic poems, providing
there's an underlying logic to them. For readers that are interested enough to take the time,
it's fun, even rewarding, to interpret them.
This definitely limits the number of readers, as many aren't interested in that type of poem.
But which audience and how large an audience to appeal to is a decision that's up to the writer.
If she/he wants to write poems about quantum mechanics or ones that mention obscure
Norse gods, I'm prepared to honour that decision. Of course, it's always my decision whether
or not to be interested in the poem.
That said, the underlying logic in this poem is a bit strained (see Erthona's specific remarks).
And change the title to "cicada" (or hell, why not "think love and it's over"?)
Even though you have an internal meaning for "cicade", everyone that reads it will just think you
misspelled "cicada".
A cryptic poem places a certain onus on the writer if he/she wants to be taken seriously,
the writer needs to assure the reader in some way that there IS a logic to the poem,
that it isn't just a random construct.
Two wonderful lines of yours:
"think love and it's over" (yes, you should omit "even")
"think wet and you'll drown me"