$433.10

[cvanshelton]

Oh wow! I liked this one a lot. Anyone who has worked in sales or waited tables will find this easy to relate to. It had me recalling times when I felt like a prostitute sucking up to a table for tips. The title was interesting enough to pull me in, but I wonder if you might expand it a little so the reader moves into your first lines with a little more understanding of where this is going and why the two people are meeting with a gaze. I enjoyed the flow of the poem. It moved from moment to moment nicely, and your breaks were interesting without being disruptive. Below are some line by line thoughts:

I hold your gaze firm
as a handshake and say 'how may I help,'  - of course the gaze as firm as a handshake is a bit cliche, but it works nicely here, because it sets the stage of greeting.

but I'm not asking.
You can only choose the me you want to see— Perhaps it is not that the person can only choose, but rather you proffer yourself to be what they want to see? I would rework this and find a stronger phrasing, because it is also a bit cliche and seems out of sync with the direction your poem goes in S4.

soft spoken, hands in pockets,
or joking and slapping thighs. Nice. It's good that you used demonstrative hand gestures in both lines to create [b]cohesion  and imagery.[/b]

You can choose my voice: your daughter, your sister,
your best friend forever. the repetition of "your" serves you well here. The flow builds momentum.

That's my favorite shirt!
Modal has effortless weight. It requires

a different bra, though. May I ask your name?
I'll go get my measuring

tape because I'm not really asking. Drop a comma after because.
I notice

the pants you're wearing—
their stitching, leg shape, drape—

to make you wonder
if everyone sees you in this much detail.

You become self-conscious, wanting to please. I wanted to see something other than "become" here. Maybe there is this idea that the self consciousness is growing or being fed, or leavening? Does that make sense? To just say "become" sells your poem short. Also, maybe end the line with a semicolon, so the next line stays connected. In previous stanzas you move from your perspective to the shoppers perspective alternatively. But this stanza is all from the first person.
Make me proud!

Buy the name brand jeans with the rhinestones on the ass.
They offer control on the inside. Nice.

Do you need new panties? Something lacy!
Men will be watching, and you don't want to be embarrassed

to reveal something ugly.
I'm sure your husband

would love the matching bustier.
You don't have a husband? Buy the bustier! The movement from stanza to stanza was great here, and moved with the quickness consistent with the theme.

Four hundred thirty-three dollars, ten cents—
it's refreshing to lose the pretense. The rhyme here is great, because it signifies a shift of poetic device just as the narrator shifts from pretense. I liked that.

You ask for my name with a grateful smile
and this is my final lie. Your ending is very strong. Good stuff.