Terminally Unique (edit leanne, shay)

[Shay]

This was very interesting. Starting off with the title, it harboured a profoundly reflective sentiment - a very relatable one, too, but you portrayed it in an intriguing way. 

Terminally Unique
 
I do not care for souls laid bare,
as though their souls were - repetitions can get "overused" sometime, but I like the echoing imagery of the soul here. It naturally complements your title as well. 
more bare than mine without a buffer;
that their pain is somehow greater
than the pain any other soul has suffered? - The directness in this segment is truly a highlight. A very relatable point you are raising here, I appreciate the high degree of authenticity. You're continuing to employ the repetition, but it doesn't detract from the greater essence at this point neither. 
So away with your romance tales
and give me something of worth;
as how one slighted at birth
did overcome it. - This segment, from "worth to birth", didn't feel as naturally fitting as it could've in the overall scheme of thought. It feels rather abrupt. I would also suggest a rephrasing similar to "has overcome it". 
I care nothing for your pain,
or that you once were insane. - I think this segment is nice, however, I feel like it could be more efficient in terms of impact. The relation of common experiences demonstrated in the "pain/insane" combination is good, but I think the "ordinary" is what makes it seem slightly touched upon on the surface. It could be interesting with a detail added to it. But that's pure preference here. 
Did you think anyone gets through life unscathed:
from birth unto the grave? - Expertly concluded. 
 
erthona
 
©2016