The Details Are Unimportant (Revision 1)

[kolemath]

Nice image work, Todd.  A few comments:

There is a filmstrip running in my mind
like on one of those clackety-clack projectors
I used to watch in science class. Only Great flow of images, from the metaphorical to the concrete
instead of answering a question
that I never asked about how plants eat sunlight
or the size of dolphins’ brains. I am left
with images of myself shot from an omniscient perspective.
I can hear the laughter of my friend who died alone
as we all die, as I will someday die as I am dying now. interesting juxtaposition of memory and death
I’m not sure what I’m saying to make her laugh.
My words aren’t captioned. I’m not that person anymore. I get the word choice, 'captioned,' for the projector metaphor, but these lines seem to veer away from the metaphor of memory. when are words captioned in memory?
There are other faces burned from the film blurred smart way of saying 'forget.' it works well for the metaphor
by drownings, other cancer. Does it matter? They say I survived interesting loop back to death as connected to forgetting; (who's they? this pronoun seems out of place to me)
when my mother died. I suppose I did. Though daily I am diminished interesting transition from death to life which fits the poem to my reading; the 'diminished' line seems redundant to the 'I am dying now,' line above. might you jump into the newspaper comparison earlier; that imagery is fresh and doesn't feel redundant to above lines.
like a faded newspaper on a park bench I like the imagery of newspaper connected to old news and death, but is a park bench the best setting to follow projector images? 
on which I will someday sit
when the reel is finally empty
and my lips sound out words
I can no longer read.

~~


*Another NaPM poem I wanted to workshop.

Thanks, Todd! -Kole