07-06-2016, 03:50 AM
Hi LizzieP
I have enjoyed reading your poem and following its progression. I think the edit works really well and you capture well that moment when all thought leaves us and its hard to focus I enjoyed how you explored the possibilities of what could happen if you stayed there too long. I have to say I was disappointed with the ending because it leaves the poem in limbo and only repeats the previous themes, I guess you told me that with the title but I did want to read about the release of writing the rush of a returning muse. Its like playing musical status and waiting to long for the music to start again. If this is what you are going for then kudos to you but I wanted it to conclude in some way. Hope this makes sense Keith
I have enjoyed reading your poem and following its progression. I think the edit works really well and you capture well that moment when all thought leaves us and its hard to focus I enjoyed how you explored the possibilities of what could happen if you stayed there too long. I have to say I was disappointed with the ending because it leaves the poem in limbo and only repeats the previous themes, I guess you told me that with the title but I did want to read about the release of writing the rush of a returning muse. Its like playing musical status and waiting to long for the music to start again. If this is what you are going for then kudos to you but I wanted it to conclude in some way. Hope this makes sense Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out