06-25-2016, 12:27 PM
The message is fine, but the poem is counterintuitive. By counterintuitive, I mean obvious. The point is not to be simple with these things; every poet, except Rimbaud, was writing poems like this before they were Walt Whitman. Andre 3000 is still writing poems like this. By the point, I mean, the obvious. There's nothing wrong with the poem, it's not counterproductive, counterintuitive; if you published it people would wonder why you bothered compared with whatever else you published that was worth publishing. It's one of those kind of things.
The execution of the poem doesn't say much. The premise of the poem is too direct, the message is good, the sentiment is groovy. The idea is false. Some people still don't like the work of any of these people. Too simple, too abstract, too wild, too silly, too countersuggestive. Then: some people liked it from the start.
There 's nothing wrong with the poem, it's just in a league with a bar band quality. That's my critique.
The execution of the poem doesn't say much. The premise of the poem is too direct, the message is good, the sentiment is groovy. The idea is false. Some people still don't like the work of any of these people. Too simple, too abstract, too wild, too silly, too countersuggestive. Then: some people liked it from the start.
There 's nothing wrong with the poem, it's just in a league with a bar band quality. That's my critique.